The Life of A Batty Broad

Good Intentions, Flawed Results

I Write Me, I Write Me…Not

I have been neglecting my blog.  Mainly because I am getting married in less than 3 months and apparently that is supposed to take up every moment of your awake time.  But my good friend Amy F. Sherman sent me interview questions and because I really, really like her and need to get my mojo back I am going to answer these hard-hitting questions.  That’s right, you will be let into the inner workings of my brain.  Sorry in advance.  Also, you have been warned.

Did I mention that I'm getting married

Did I mention that I’m getting married?

Why do I write what I do?

Well my life is like a box of cracker jacks, except the popcorn has been replaced with some sticky, weird smelling stuff and there are way too many nuts and the prize can typically be referred to as the “booby prize”.  Not those kinds of boobies either.  That would at least be interesting.  Let’s just say that I spend a lot of time with a “WTF” expression on my face.  It might actually be stuck that way.  So I write about that.  The crazy, sometimes emotionally traumatizing, weird, unbelievable and often physically painful life of mine.  It’s also totally hilarious.  I also write about stuff that matters to me and I think should matter to everyone.  You know, things like why the hell do politicians think that they should get to legislate our body parts.

Pretty much me every day

Pretty much me every day

How does my writing differ from others in its genre?

Most of what I write is completely true stories.  I think I differ more within my style than anything else.  I tend to write shorter sentences.  I get bored when I’m reading and someone is too verbose so I like to get to the point and only put in things that make the story move along.  I want my posts to be long enough for you to read while you pee.  Also it’s good to be in the bathroom in case you start laughing and don’t want to soil your undies.

This is totally not me, it's not...

This is totally not me, it’s not…

How does my writing process work?

Oh, right we are supposed to have a process.   My process is that I am thinking of writing things 24/7 and that I jot them down on little pieces of paper and then I lose the paper and then I can’t remember what I was going to write. I have a process where I’m in the car and have a great idea but can’t write it down because I don’t have paper or a pen and I can’t use my phone for fear that I will end up on a PSA about texting and driving.  I write when I can about what is going on in the moment.  It’s definitely stream of consciousness writing which would net me a failing grade in school I’m sure.  I then post it and go back and edit it 5 times because of grammatical errors.  I highly recommend this method.

Yep this is pretty much my proces

Yep this is pretty much my process

What am I working on/writing?

My blog, two books and various essays.  In my head I am working on the greatest novel ever and my speech for when I win a literary award and go on Oprah.  Writing is hard work.  I love it but it takes a lot of time.  Did I mention I’m getting married soon?

I am working on those books, I swear...

I am working on those books, I swear…

Name three blogs you like.

Dudeeeeee.  It’s too hard….said in the whiniest voice EVER.  I love so many blogs.  I need a job just reading blogs and reposting them.

LIesl Testwuide’s blog is hilarious and I always enjoy her posts.  Hairpin Turns Ahead. I hunted her down at EBWW this year because I wanted to meet her.  She didn’t seem too frightened by my stalkerish behavior.

Lucia Paul over at Dysfunctional Scrapbooking‘s blog is funny and full of shenanigans.  She’s also one of those people you meet and just feel totally comfortable with immediately. I heart her.

Aliza Worthington’s writing is funny, poignant and prolific.  I want to be her when I grow up.  Go check her out at The Worthington Post.

Go. Now.  You know I’m always right about these things.

The damn internet

The damn internet


11 comments on “I Write Me, I Write Me…Not

  1. amyfsherman
    June 10, 2014

    I love the toilet timer for your blog length. Thank you for letting us see inside your batty brain, especially since you are in full wedding madness mode.

    I. Love. Your. Writing.

    • abattybroad
      June 10, 2014

      I love yours too. BTW nice butt! I think we could form an entire set of meme’s around it. 🙂

  2. Lance
    June 10, 2014

    I related to a lot of this because of how I make use of limited time. Thanks for letting me look inside.

    plus, you used the great amy sherman

    • abattybroad
      June 10, 2014

      Thanks Lance! Yeah that time thing is a real biatch. You, my friend, are clearly doing this whole “write on limited time, while being a father, maintain more than one blog and also participating in discussion” thing way better than I am. And I mean who doesn’t love Amy…

  3. blackinkpad
    June 10, 2014

    Unfortunately, I’m chained to my PC. So, unless I get a catheter and longish hose, I don’t get to pee while I read. I mean. I could, but… well, then I’d have to do laundry. And laundry is a distraction I just don’t need.

    • abattybroad
      June 10, 2014

      I hear ya. No one needs laundry distraction…I mean that shit never ends!

  4. francineot
    June 10, 2014

    I love that I get to know more about your brain! Your wacky, zany brain! And that you would think of me for the Q&A. I wish you lived down the street. So I could help you procrastinate, have Lucy and Ethel good times, and just loll about. Did you know you’re getting married? I wanted to make sure you remembered. You are my far away pal, and I heart you too. I feel like you are close by though…

    • abattybroad
      June 10, 2014

      Yes! I think we might make a dangerous pair…

  5. Thekitchwitch
    June 11, 2014

    When you get that “make dinner via Telekenesis” thing down, will you let me know the secret?

    • abattybroad
      June 11, 2014

      I will totally share with you! Also I was remiss in not mentioning your blog. I love your blog so much and your writing.

  6. Jennifer
    February 6, 2015

    I always get distracted by the damn internet…

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